When I say, "Marriage Ain't for
Wimps," it's more than just a cute, catchy cliché. It really is not for
the weak or immature. Let me explain...
If it is your desire to have a successful, fulfilling, mutually satisfying marriage, you're going to have to die!
Die to selfishness.
Die to immaturity.
Die to dishonesty.
Die to old habits.
Now, while that all of that seems like a no-brainer, many people enter into their marriage with a list of unspoken and unrealistic expectations. And when those expectations are not met, they resort to different tactics or retreat to familiar habits from their single days. What you don't heal in your singleness will manifest in your marriage. When I married my husband, I was still insecure and I brought with me a lot of feelings of inadequacy, shame, and guilt. I wanted marriage to somehow heal my broken, damaged places. By committing to a marriage, I thought all of my issues would (magically) disappear, right? Wrong! They were magnified! So when things came up, my insecure, fearful, angry self showed up, too.
Here's another perspective...
The Bible has this to say about LOVE:
[Love]
"Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."
(1 Corinthians 13:5-7 MSG)
Whew! I'll be the first to admit that some of those statements are hard for me to swallow. As much as I love my husband, in my humanness, I may not always display it. And that's where prayer, communication, good mentoring and willingness to grow come in. It took me years to realize that marriage is not all about making you happy, but more about helping you become the person God desires you to be.
So if you're focused on getting your needs met and looking to be happier, don't bother. But if you're willing to pull back so that you can move forward, cheer when no one is listening, pray in secret, love unconditionally, and serve unselfishly, THEN you are ready to take this journey. And if you were like me, deep in the thick of it before you got a clue, no worries. Trust and believe, God is able to restore, repair & renew.
And one final note...If all of this just seems like a lot of work, IT IS! But the beautiful thing is that you will reap a handsome return on your investment. So, adjust your attitude, fine-tune your expectations, commit 100% and enjoy the life of a Mature Wife.
Tangie,
The Maturing Wife
#MarriageAintForWimps
If it is your desire to have a successful, fulfilling, mutually satisfying marriage, you're going to have to die!
Die to selfishness.
Die to immaturity.
Die to dishonesty.
Die to old habits.
Now, while that all of that seems like a no-brainer, many people enter into their marriage with a list of unspoken and unrealistic expectations. And when those expectations are not met, they resort to different tactics or retreat to familiar habits from their single days. What you don't heal in your singleness will manifest in your marriage. When I married my husband, I was still insecure and I brought with me a lot of feelings of inadequacy, shame, and guilt. I wanted marriage to somehow heal my broken, damaged places. By committing to a marriage, I thought all of my issues would (magically) disappear, right? Wrong! They were magnified! So when things came up, my insecure, fearful, angry self showed up, too.
Here's another perspective...
The Bible has this to say about LOVE:
[Love]
"Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,”
 |
| Rated M for Mature |
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."
(1 Corinthians 13:5-7 MSG)
Whew! I'll be the first to admit that some of those statements are hard for me to swallow. As much as I love my husband, in my humanness, I may not always display it. And that's where prayer, communication, good mentoring and willingness to grow come in. It took me years to realize that marriage is not all about making you happy, but more about helping you become the person God desires you to be.
So if you're focused on getting your needs met and looking to be happier, don't bother. But if you're willing to pull back so that you can move forward, cheer when no one is listening, pray in secret, love unconditionally, and serve unselfishly, THEN you are ready to take this journey. And if you were like me, deep in the thick of it before you got a clue, no worries. Trust and believe, God is able to restore, repair & renew.
And one final note...If all of this just seems like a lot of work, IT IS! But the beautiful thing is that you will reap a handsome return on your investment. So, adjust your attitude, fine-tune your expectations, commit 100% and enjoy the life of a Mature Wife.
Tangie,
The Maturing Wife
#MarriageAintForWimps
