Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Love & Facebook

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, there’s no doubt that you know we are living in a Digital Age. We have laptops, Smart Phones, iPads, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, Wii, Xbox, 2 million Cable channels, etcetera and so forth. And that’s just to name a few! Whew! It’s no wonder that we find it difficult to concentrate on much of anything, much less our spouses. I’ll admit, I’m just as guilty as the next person. I personally have just about every gadget that has been developed and I love every one of them. The point is that we need to know when to say when.

These digital devices and social media outlets were created for our convenience…and leisure, but they must not take the place of quality time with our mates. Sure, it’s cute to send a love text or tweet, but at the end of the day, nothing replaces face-to-face quality time and interaction. You know the sad reality is that we’re so used to “Digital Love” that we are finding it difficult to relate in “Real Time.” Here are some tips to help you get your groove back in real life:

1. Turn it off!

I’ll admit this is kind of a hard one for me. Much of what I do is linked to some gadget or another and I really have to discipline myself to step away from them. Having said that, we need to re-learn how to be together apart from digital distractions and social media mayhem.

2. Set a limit

It’s probably pretty unrealistic to tell you to ditch your Blackberry all together. But consider setting a time limit on your device when it’s “couple time.” For example, if you get an urgent text, allow yourself to respond to it (quickly) and then commit the rest of your time to your mate.

3. Kick it Old-School

Remember Scrabble & Monopoly? No, not on your phone; the actual board game? Remember when you used to be the Spades or Dominoes Queen? No one could touch you. How about setting up a date night with your Honey where you turn everything off and kick it old-school?

Trust me, I know separating from digital gadgets and social media can be a challenge. So much of it is integrated into our everyday lives. But the reality is that we were created to form real, human, emotional bonds with others. Not knowing how to relate interpersonally, not only makes you socially inept, but it also puts a hurtin’ on your marriage. So, do you and your Honey a favor and give your relationship the full attention it deserves, because, contrary to popular opinion, Love and Facebook don’t mix. Remember, this is a grown-up sport. Marriage Ain’t for Wimps!

To Marriage With Love,


Got a burning question about marriage? Email me at Marriage@MarriageAintforWimps.com. Also, you can follow me on Twitter @MightyMarriage.


  1. My husband brought it to my attention that I was always on the computer. While I knew this to be true, I had thought that I was multi-tasking. How rude and inconsiderate of me! I’ve now learned to give him my full attention. There’s nothing on the internet more interesting or more important than me spending time with mylover.

  2. So true! Thank you for that!

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  4. (I know I'm late on this post, but I'm new to your blog and I'm catching up on all your post.)
    My husband started to notice my frequent need to check FB so much, he hated it. He doesn't see the need for it. He doesn't have an account and never will he's not that type of social media man. So a couple of months ago I made a calculated effort to limit my time on it. Now, I hardly even think about it, I may check it 2 or 3 times a week. It made such a huge difference in my interactions with my husband and my kids now that I've put my "phone" down.

    1. Mrs. Williams, I think you make such a great point! It's important that we set aside anything that puts a wedge between us and our spouses even in the most subtle ways. So, kudos to you for recognizing it, acting on it and reaping the rewards! Thank you for sharing. Blessings!

  5. Thank you, Arya. Many blessings to you in your marriage!

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  7. Thank you. Marriage Blessings!