Athletes participating in physically aggressive sports understand that injuries are a part of the game. They do the best they can to protect themselves, but know that they may get hurt. Those with the most competitive mindset understand that the game must go on, even if they’re injured. Most of them want to be a part of the game and understand that sometimes they’ve got to play while they’re hurt.
This same mindset can be applied to all relationships and marriage, in particular. Unfortunately offenses come as a part of our human experience with one another. Whether it’s intentional or not, those closest to us will offend or hurt us at some point. It’s inherent in the institution. And to try to avoid it would mean that we would have to stay isolated from human connection. It’s a risk we take when embracing the vulnerability necessary to have a meaningful relationship.
I think a fallacy in some marriages is that they expect to skip through the daisies without so much as a disagreement. That is not realistic and certainly not the reality of most couples. At the very least, we don’t expect to be hurt by our Honey. Unfortunately, though, there will be times of hurt and disappointment. However, you need to show up to play anyway. I’m not discounting transgressions but what I am saying is that your first line of defense shouldn’t be to retreat or wave the white flag. You should develop the attitude of an athlete and realize that marriage is a “contact sport” and you need to “go big or go home.” So talk it out, cry it out, get counseling, do whatever you need to do. But don’t give up, cave in or quit. Realize that sometimes you’ve got to play hurt because Marriage Ain’t for Wimps!
To Marriage with Love,