Sunday, July 11, 2010

Marriage Ain't for Wimps! Series: Life After

So now that the wedding bells are only faintly heard in the background, the cake topper is in the freezer, you’re unpacked from the honeymoon and the MasterCard bill has arrived, what’s next? Well, if you believe the books and movies, you and your Boo will run around the house blowing kisses at each other and having “secret getaways” in every room. While that may be true, more often than not, that’s not exactly how the story plays out. For most couples, the reality of “Real Life” sets in and they are a little bewildered. “Real Life” is not bad it’s just, well, real life.

After “I do” comes the real work. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to get that perfect tango we all long for in our marriages. Most of us spend more time preparing for the wedding than we do preparing for the marriage. Consequently, we find ourselves rolling over to someone we don’t even really know. Regardless of how long you’ve been together or what type of history you have (i.e. living together or having children before marriage), it’s something about saying “I do” that radically changes the whole scheme of things. I don’t totally know all of the intricacies of why that is so, but I do know it is so. I’m definitely going to have to ask God about that when I meet Him in person. But I digress…

Nonetheless, it takes realistic expectations and proper preparation to understand what it takes to share your “everything” with another being. No mistake, it is a great deal of work, but it is achievable and can be done with great success. Know that any great couple had to learn to dwell with each other “according to knowledge.” Dwelling with someone “according to knowledge” means grasping the full understanding what it is needed to maintain your union and actually putting it into practice. “Knowing” and “Doing” are two different things. My former pastor used to say, “You can’t do a single thing married or a married thing single!” Realize that you “two” should be working toward becoming “one” and it ain’t easy. During the process of becoming “one” you will have a lot of instances where you will want to yell foul and throw in the towel. But where’s the victory in that? Staying the course and doing the hard work is where you see greatness. And, that, my friend, is the reality of Life After.

So next time we’ll talk about specific strategies to making this thing called marriage work in a blog entitled, “Don’t Start Nothing, Won’t be Nothing!”

To Marriage with Love,
Inspired Sistah

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