Growing up we’re often barraged with the fantasy of meeting our Prince (or Princess) Charming, falling in love and living happily ever-after. So we go through our lives on the lookout for “The One” expecting that the rest of the story will get on the way. But what happens when we do meet someone, fall head-over-heels in love, get married and wonder, “What the???” People who say they love each other get divorced every day. So is love really enough?
Once I began to come into a full understanding of the enormity of the covenant of marriage, I began to wonder if love had anything to do with it at all. Don’t get me wrong, it is important that we love our spouses, but I would like to submit to you that love is simply not enough. Having a successful marriage requires commitment, patience, honesty, longsuffering and grace…to name a few. If you don’t have any of those characteristics, loving someone is not going to be enough. I would also dare to venture out and say that having those characteristics is what actually constitutes real love. It’s not the butterflies in the stomach or the tingling of your skin when you hear his voice. It’s the quiet assurance of knowing that he is in your corner no matter what or the security you feel when the two of you are just doing nothing. And can I be honest with you? Getting to that level of confidence in your relationship requires a fee. You heard me. Being that secure and comfortable comes with a cost of time, commitment and sometimes trials. Don’t buy into the fairy tale that once you and your Boo says, “I do” that the angels are going to come down and sing the Hallelujah Chorus to you. Nope! Expect to enter to a time of “adjustment” that will ultimately strengthen your bond if you commit to it and refuse to give up.
So here’s the deal, we need to adjust our concepts relating to marriage. Those of us who are married need to be transparent and tell people that the glow they see on our faces after several years of marriage comes from serious investment that ultimately set us up for a successful union. It’s after you put some time on it that your affection takes on another level. And that, my friend, makes up the truth of what love really has to do with it.
So next time we’ll discuss Life After “I do.”
To Marriage with Love,